Saturday, 2 June 2012

I Am Number Four: Goodreads Review


's review 
Jun 03, 12

Recommended for: masochists and murderers
Read from June 02 to 03, 2012


Originality: **
Writing Style: *
Characterization: *
Overall Rating: 1.5-2 (AND I’M BEING GENEROUS HERE!)

I should stop reading books only because of their pretty covers.*Sighs* 
I don’t even know how to start to explain what a complete mess this book was. I regret I ever said “Divergent” reminded me of it; there were at least decent characters and an actual writer who could write.



I want to kill my friends who told me the movie (and therefore the book must be too) was awesome. I pray that at least the movie was worth it.

I’m tempted to start my rambling on full speed, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop and the only think I’ll get from it (besides the bitter taste of disappointment in my mouth) is a killer headache.
To put it short:

Originality : I dunno; the whole plot (if there was any) wasn’t something special, but deep down, I feel like it had the potential to become something good if not great. It just didn’t work out it seems. Cases in point:

• A boy (who is not really a boy) has mystical powers.
• Said boy is chased by ugly evil aliens (don’t mind that said boy is alien too, but at least he’s pretty!*YAAWWw!* <-that was total sarcasm. just sayin’
• The whole book was one old walking cliché. He’s school life is so unrealistic and fake and FLAT, that Pamela Anderson’s boobs could pass as a modest bosom. Seriously?? The whole “new nice guy and miss popularity would live happily ever after if it wasn’t for her stupid redneck boyfriend” is maybe the BIGGEST CLICHÉ IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF LITERATURE!! Actual high school IS NOTHING LIKE THAT! (I should know, I just graduated)

Writing Style : This was seriously one of the worst written books I’ve read in my entire life (and I haven’t read just a few).

• The writing was flat, simple bordering on 3rd grade and without a speck of profoundness whatsoever. I feel like I can write a better book (and that isn’t a compliment either). I feel like MY CAT can write a better one.
• I can’t actually believe these books are sold AND read by some many people. What I can’t believe even more is that they are written by TWO WRITERS. Really guys? 
• Dialogue = they all speak as if someone is holding a gun to their heads *SPEAK, OR I’LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT* WELL, MISTER KILLER, YOU SUCCEEDED TO BLOW MINE…


Characterization: W. T. F….? 

John (aka Four): All throughout the book I had the feeling John Smith was some strange (and quite unsuccessful) hybrid between a 12-year-old teenage girl, the schools’ nerd and some kind of bad-ass wanna-be. He was flatter than my laptop screen. 
• And here comes Mary Sue (aka Sarah)! Congratulations! She made me barf! I dunno if the writers came up with the whole scandal on his first day at school to make her appear brave (although I don’t know how stupid you must be for this to actually work) but it made her look like a blond bimbo. She’s constantly throwing herself at John (who reacts like a little girl getting attacked by a vicious dog). Another thing – she says Mark and she aren’t together but she always sits with him, even if she keeps behaving like a bitch. Why? WELL, DON’T ASK ME, I DON’T THINK EVEN THE WRITERS KNOW. *bitch is a bitch?*
• Overall, all characters are FLAT, SHALLOW and extremely UNREALISTIC. Don’t make me start with their relationships. John and Henri are together all their lifes but there’s no depth in their exchanges. I refuse to comment on the absurd that is John and Sarah’s relationship…(John and Sarah from Sherlock had a better relationship, and we all know John and Sherlock are getting it on..)

My overall opinion is that this is utter trash. I’m only happy I didn’t pay anything for reading this (although one ritual burning will lift my spirit for sure right now)
My advice if you’re thinking of reading the book...?

far far away...

Look, i did have the patience to read bad literature years ago, but now i just don't have the nerves or the time to waste. Sorry,"I Am Number Four", but you'll be "Abandoned" probably forever...          

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